Friday, April 10, 2009


Sin it overpowering at times? Does it control me? I find that the sin (old) nature of me, pre conversion seems to grab at me and control me at times. On the cross, the power of sin in our lvies is destroyed, we can avoid sin through Christ and His Holy Spirit can help us defeat the power of sin in all moments. Then why do i still feel controlled by sinful flesh? I have decided that the old man can creep in and devour our desire for Christ and enflame us for self-satisfaction. This is a long and steady decline that occurs when we cut ourselves off from God, fellowship and meditations on scripture and prayer. It slowly starts and once it is complete the soul is in dissarray and looks to itself as opposed to looking to God for satisfaction and guidance. Their is no formulaic answer to a soul's renovation, as much as we would like to think so. It cannot be instant, it will be hard fought battle, grinding it out with the demons of our past and present self centeredness. Renovation is what i long for. Taking the oppressed and forming it into a new battle hardened warrior of the gospel. I do not wish to be a fundamentalist legalistic bum, not do i desire a life of cheap grace, rock star christianity that i see rising. I desire to be well-balanced, devoid of legalism and leaning on real authentic grace. Living my life in balance under Christ, not leaning to the right or left, but maintaining my faith and growing towards Christ moment by moment. Allow God to be my satisfaction, not myself. Please God by glorifying Him in all i do, not placing trust in my self. My joy shouldnt be in me, but in God. I want to live my life in service to God, and God alone.

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