Monday, March 04, 2013

Recently I met a beautiful girl that I thought was absolutely perfect for me. Let's call her Audrey. I thought things were going well and that she was in to me. She had the most beautiful eyes, she had a sweet outgoing personality and loved God with all her heart. What more could I want! Well fast forward a bit and she didn't seem to want anything to do with me. It sucked to be honest, especially seeing that it was the first time I had a distinct attraction that was "butterflies in the stomach" in a long time. This was months ago, and now as I am reading a book on grace I started to think, thanks to God. He showed me that I was that girl and he was me in that situation. He pursues and pursues with all his heart and yet I do not respond positively. I continuously reject my pursuer because I want to pursue something else. God relentlessly desires to be with us, yet we run and look elsewhere for satisfaction. This is grace. We run and do not desire his love yet He loves us anyway. Of course we want God to love us, but not in every moment. Some moments we desire to please ourselves and ignore God, not matter how hard he pursues us. This is like my situation but in reverse. The happy part is that God stays after us and we respond eventually, as believers or unbelievers. As a believer we still ignore his urgings and can pursue other interests for self satisfaction. He loves us yet we ignore his love. I pray that one day I can love Him constantly. I know that day will come in the afterlife, but while I am here I hope that I can come as close as I can to this point. As a human we will always pursue our own happiness at some point, but I hope I can be as faithful and responsive as possible to God. The unhappy part is that this girl never worked out..haha, but at least I know God is sovereign and one day it will work out. Whether it works out for me to be married or single is another thing, but I trust God and will serve in how he wants in the way he wants. I strive to be content in Him and Him alone.