Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Traversing the unforeseen future

Learning to trust God with your entire life is one of the most difficult things to accomplish. I always hold back parts of my life, or try and take control of them as i cannot see God's plan. I see nothing but a dark emptiness of a future, where i can see nothing....except for the next step by the light of God's lamp of direction and guidance. It feels helpless and at times i just wanna grab the reigns and illumine the path with the artificial light of my choices. The overwhelming feeling i have right now is that God needs to be in control of it all, yet i hold on to way too much. I have no plans, but i do have a general direction. Do I follow this light that God is providing to me, or do i go back to my own sight and try and navigate blindly through the darkness hoping to land where i need or want to be. It is not easy being in the dark as to the future of my life, but it is not my life, it is God's life. The theme of my blog in the first post i had was "my life, for God's glory" (albeit in German)Why must i let my fears and anxiety take over? I feel like peter, he sees Christ and knows where to go. Peter faithfully steps out amongst the waves and he is oblivious to his surroundings, he only knows to go towards his Lord...then in a moment he notices the storm and the fact that he is on water....and begins to sink. I do not want to sink, i want to stay my focus upon Christ and his matter if i cannot see the future or the direction anywhere other than the step or two in front of me. Maybe in these times when we feel helpless, we are in the best position with God...maybe, just maybe God uses those who are in such a low position to raise himself up to the world...hopefully God can use me as i continue to traverse the unknown path in front of me

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