Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Approval of Men

As i sit and read a reading for Seminary, i come to realize that i have been creating a false self that i put on when i interact with others. This false self is a man who seeks approval of all people through qualifying myself as a "popular man". I do this through the image of a fraternity man and try to be this person that i think i should be, not the person that i am. This has held me back in the realm of a spiritual relationship with Christ because i seek the approval of men by running to the frat boy image. Drinking Bourbon Whiskey and picking up the ladies, while being an arrogant Son of a Bitch. Sounds kinda like a country song, but it is instead the sad reality of the image that i feel that i must portray to others. I must realize that this man is a false creation of insecurity and i must run to Christ. For in HIm i receive all of the approval i will ever need. Running to this safe image of a shell of a man is the last thing i wish to do anymore. I must cry out to God to save me and help me put to death this superficial, approval seeking act that i put on. Until i do this, i will self sabotage the riches of Christ that i could know and reach others with. My self-worth should be found in Christ alone...

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